ifit4x4
by Piet van Heerde
iplan4x4
itour4x4
When mother nature calls
ipee4x4
When you have to go, you just have to go, in the bush this can be an uncomfortable exercise. Here is a few ideas to make a pit stop in the bush more bearable.
There are few certainties in life, death, Elton Jantjie's hairstyle and your daily ride on the porcelain scooter. The problem is that in the bush, the scooter is not made of porcelain.
Sometimes it is a good old long drop (often an awful one), and sometimes a portable plastic "scooter" filled with chemicals, and sometimes a fold up chair with a hole in the seat. But in many instances your knees will have to do some hard work if you have to do the traditional bush squad.
Even an ordinary wee could become an issue in the bush. A well known member of the Cape Town 4x4 community, often tells the story of how he woke up in the early hours of the morning in his rooftop tent in Moremi, well fortified by the drinks of the
night before, but also exited and alert because he suspected lions were wandering around the camp. And with a serious call of mother nature.
Fortunately he was prepared for such an eventuality, having taken a wide-mouthed plastic bottle to bed with him. Great was his surprise, however, when the bottle's 600ml capacity was not enough to contain the results.
Now imagine his dilemma, it was pitch dark, he had to cut off in mid stream, there was not another bottle in the tent, both his hands were occupied and at the very least he had to get the tent zip open...
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I discuss a few devises that could help make the bathroom break in the bush a bit less of an adventure.
Frame Toilets
The Contraption
(like scafolding)
There are a number of frame based bush toilets on the market. The idea is simply a toilet seat that's mounted on top of a foldable frame. In some versions the seat is mounted onto the frame of a normal folding chair, and in others the frame is specially designed for it.
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If you can work a hammer and
wire a plug, you should be able to build your own.
When the big moment arrives, you simply position the frame with the seat over a hole that you dug with a spade.
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From here on it's just like at home: you open the newspaper at the horse racing or sports results and relax.
The Bush Potty
Portable chemical toilets
Just like the Americans refer to a vacuum cleaner as a Hoover, we refer to portable chemical toilets as Porta Potties. However Porta Potty is but one model of a particular brand of bush thrones.
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These plastic 'scooters' work on the same principal as caravan toilets or those cubicles you get on building sites or music festivals. They are just smaller.
Just put it behind a nice big bush or in its own toilet tent. (See picture of an example, every worthwhile outdoor shop stocks a proper pop-up toilet tent)
A proper loo in the bush might require a bit of work, but I reckonit's little effort that can add years to a marriage.
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A portable potty consists of two parts: The top part is the seat, the bowl part in which the waist lands and a rinsing tank. The rinsing tank is filled with liquid that flushes the waist through a valve into the waist tank below. The rinse liquid also combats unpleasant smells.
The waist tank is filled with a biodegradable liquid (make sure you get stuff that is really biodegradable) that changes all the waist in the tank into a odorless green liquid. Theoretically you should be able to dump this liquid anywhere without harming the ecosystem. We would, however, recommend that where possible, you pour this waist into a proper drain.
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If you can't get to a proper drain, we suggest you pour the liquid in a deep hole, far away from any rivers or running water. The waist tank has a one way valve that keeps odours inside.
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After using the toilet for a number of times (how many times would depend on the size of your tank), the tank is full and you can unclip it from the top part and pour out the green liquid.
The Juices
Every manufacturer of bush latrines recommends its own rinse and breaking-down agents.
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Follow the manufacturer's directions on how to use these substances, you do not want anything to explode underneath you. Also experiment with other brands and less costly generic fluids.
The most important principal is that you must ensure you really have a biodegradable substance
if you have to empty out your tank somewhere in the Kalahari, and not merely a substance meant for a caravan toilet that should be emptied in normal sewers. It could be environmentally dangerous.
Don't get a fright at the prices - they cost quite a lot per bottle. In general you get up to about 100 applications from one bottle, which make it almost cheaper than at home. All reputable outdoor shops do stock these products, make sure to get the right one for your application.
Dad, I have to wee
Urinating aids
On the day of creation there were a long negotiation during which Adam was apparently made to give up a whole lot of good attributes in exchange for one big privilege:
to be able to stand and wee. The story goes he had to give up intellect, good looks and a few other things too.
There are many reasons why women would like to stand up
when they need to go: not wanting to use dirty toilets, standing long ques, fear of creepy-crawly insects and of course those awkward little accidents when a women needs to squat.
However, this is now a thing of the past. There are quite a number of products on the market that enable women to stand up and be counted-so to speak.
Whichever patent you are going to use, make sure to practice at home first before trying this gimmick in the bush. Each have pros and cons and it is best to make sure about those for your need. Most of them come with a discreet little bag.
Bush Ettiquette
Mind the lions. If you need to go in the bush, make sure you are safe. Ask the guide or trackers advice, and keep your eyes and ears open.
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Go far enough away. If you don't want other people to come upon you suddenly, walk far enough from the camp, and sit where you can see other people approaching.
Agree on loo spots. Discuss in advance in which direction the men and women respectively will go. If you happen to stumble upon somebody that is busy, just look the other way and get out of there.
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Put it away. If you are not going for a pee, dig a proper hole with a spade, so your waist is buried deep enough to prevent animals digging it out or other people treading on it.
Burn it. Rather use single ply paper (even if you are convinced life without double ply is impossible) in the bush because it breaks down faster. If you are in an area where there is no dry grass or leaves on the ground, set your paper alight and wait for it to burn into ash before filling in the hole.
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Mark it. It is good manners to mark your "toilet" by putting a stick in it or by putting a big
rock in it so other people don't stand on it by mistake.
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Wash your hands. Teach your kids to wash their hands or wipe them with wet wipes, even when you are in the bush.
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Clean the spade. If you are sharing a spade with other people, please ensure the thing is clean after you used it.